https://erinmerylstudy.substack.com/p/everyone-being-contrarian-is-just?r=fda6y
this would be merely ironic if it stopped there. but it doesn’t, because the mass adoption of the contrarian identity goes beyond the irony. it has made conformity into a dirty word at the exact moment when what we most need is a more true account of what conformity is actually for.
the lone wolf is the fantasy that sits at the heart of this. I don’t think this is actually a model of independence. it is a model of parasitism.
the person who opts out of all social norms and who goes their own way regardless of what the social fabric requires, is surviving on the conformity of everyone around them. they are free-riding on the trust built by people who kept their commitments even when it cost them something.
the lone wolf only exists because the pack does.
the penguin that leaves for the mountains is not pioneering a new form of life; it is a penguin that will die in the wrong climate while congratulating itself on its uniqueness, having contributed nothing to the colony that made its existence possible.
what has accelerated all of this is, predictably, the architecture of the internet. platforms reward differentiation as it generates engagement in a way that considered agreement does not, because agreement is boring and disagreement is stimulating.
the lone wolf is a compelling image. it is also a description of an animal that is alone and will remain alone, making no contribution to any pack and receiving none from one, until it dies.
that is not freedom. it is just a different and lonelier kind of conformity, to the idea that you owe nothing to anyone, which has somehow become the most conventional position of all.